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Friday, February 11, 2011

I'm trying to remember

that last month, this was worse.
I woke up tonight all pms-y at 1215. According to the calendar, made by business printing services,
I'm starting my period today. My back hurts. I feel like I'm gonna puke. I ate a dozen cookies instead of dinner. Strike that, in addition to dinner.

I got up, took a bath. Adhered thermacare packs to the front and the back of me.

I'm thankful because this time last month, these feelings lasted a week. And I'm hoping that these feelings will only last today. I'm hoping that this is the month that my period lasts less than 10 days. That this IUD will bring me the good fortune of no periods by the time I've had it a year. 3 months down and the flow is so much lighter, but the length is still horrible.

I'm tired. I'm sore. I'm sensitive. And today is a full day in a very full week. I just want to stay in bed. But I won't. I'll get up at 730 and start all of the busyness again.

Since Hendrix turned 2, the debilitating depression has gone. Just vaporized and my life is back. And I'm handling things. Meeting them at the door instead of hiding away, huddled in the back bedroom with the curtains drawn tight and my headphones on. I tell myself that I'm better. And I know that I am better. Instead of knowing that I'm lying. It feels good.

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