Once again I have post partum depression. Which makes me even more depressed. I have done so much this time to make sure I didn't get me. And yet, here I am. And why do I feel guilty when I know that none of this is my fault?
Thankfully it is caught earlier this time. Now there are plans in place for upped medication dosages. Medications added in. A brand new medicine to include months down the road so I don't plummet under like I did before when the baby turns 8 months old.
Thankfully there are answers to the headaches, the muscle aches, the forgetfulness, the scattered speak, the irritations, the total heaviness of spirit and the light gone out of my eyes. An answer to why I always think I look so haggard when I look at myself in the mirror. Thankfully my therapist is calling Chris to tell him what is going on and what to expect, instead of me trying to explain it all when I can barely open my mouth to form cohesive sentences.
It is better this time. But it is here. I'm going to bed.