Surprize Pregnancy Blog

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Well, here I am again.

Once again I have post partum depression. Which makes me even more depressed. I have done so much this time to make sure I didn't get me. And yet, here I am. And why do I feel guilty when I know that none of this is my fault?

Thankfully it is caught earlier this time. Now there are plans in place for upped medication dosages. Medications added in. A brand new medicine to include months down the road so I don't plummet under like I did before when the baby turns 8 months old.

Thankfully there are answers to the headaches, the muscle aches, the forgetfulness, the scattered speak, the irritations, the total heaviness of spirit and the light gone out of my eyes. An answer to why I always think I look so haggard when I look at myself in the mirror. Thankfully my therapist is calling Chris to tell him what is going on and what to expect, instead of me trying to explain it all when I can barely open my mouth to form cohesive sentences.

It is better this time. But it is here. I'm going to bed.

5 comments:

Melissa said...

Karianne...I'm so glad you've got a plan, but I'm sorry that you're experiencing this again. (You know...I really think something happened when Ella was 10 mos. old---you mentioned the 8 month mark---so may I wasn't imagining things)

You are so wise to have supports in place. I'm bad about that---I wait it out until I can barely move and then start considering what to do.

Love to you---

Mrs. Inqvist said...

Sweetie - I am so sorry that I burdened you with my mood yesterday. I am here for you if you need someone to lean on. I am feeling better today after lots of good tears yesterday. You are in my prayers. Love Ya!

adventures north said...

I'm glad to hear that you're getting what you need. Take care of you! I think this would also explain why the HP books weren't making any sense (-:

Carrie said...

*huge hugs*

I had post partum with my oldest and I know how much it hurts. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Everything feels just so, so out of reach.

I am so glad you have a support network and a plan. So crucial. Praying that the treatment works quickly.

No wonder you've been on my mind so much. (And sorry I was so late getting to this -- we have been sick, sick, sick for literally a month. Ugh.)

hugs

Catherine said...

oh, sweet Karianne. I am so sorry. You know I've lived this as well, and I'm so sorry. I am praying for you. SO many hugs for you, my friend.

Cath