Well, since I posted that I have no blogging inspiration, I have, of course, only been wanting to blog. How is that for reverse psychology? On myself.
After my church post, you all lovingly responded to my questions and shared your stories with me. It gave me so much to think about. So much to think about that I'm actually done with thinking. My brain has been chewing and chewing on this topic since then, and I'm so ready to spit it out. Mostly because I'm tired of chewing on it, and I haven't gotten any further on any type of decisions about anything religion related. Time out!!
As far as making the decision to not make a decision, the only other finality that I have come to is that I need to back off from this. Before I went to church the Sunday or so after Easter, I felt that I was slowly but surely heading to a situation of peace with my faith or lack thereof. Then church threw me into a tailspin which is where I've been living ever since.
So, I'm going back to doing what I was doing before. Taking tiny tiny baby steps towards possibly believing again. Trying to ease my way by taking sips instead of drowning gulps. Staying very "vanilla" in my thoughts and choices. Reading prayers. Reading Guideposts. And right now, this is the most that I can do. This is how I get results. I had to remember that about myself.
Thanks again for all of the sharing. I knew that you all were the ones to ask!