Surprize Pregnancy Blog

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Monday, April 02, 2007

A Little Becken History



Miss Mert is helping to promote my prom as my original pimpstress with others helping out. To give a little background to the whole adoption process, I thought that I'd write this to set the stage. (For some reason Blogger is having issues with my return button, so stay with me!) My dad had been sick for a while, but we didn't know what was wrong. We found out that he had terminal pancreatic cancer (there is no other kind) in early spring. As we were helping my dad with treatment and starting to wrap our minds around losing him, I had the realization that my life was not going like I had planned it to. I began to think about regrets. I decided that if I were to die the next day, the only thing that I would regret was not having adopted a child. Chris and I had looked into adoption briefly while we were having our miscarriages before having Miss Ivy and had decided on an agency (Adoption Advocates International) that we had heard amazing things about that is located in our state. One day I went to Chris' office and told him that I really felt that it was time for us to adopt, that it had been on my mind, and that I really felt a huge pull to do this. It was amazing timing, as he had been thinking about adopting as well. We put in our adoption application that afternoon. It was July 28, 2005 which was also my twin brother and sister's birthday. We had decided to not tell my dad about our adoption because we thought that he would die and be feeling so bad that there was another grandchild that was coming that wouldn't know him and that he wouldn't get a chance to know. But our plans changed as we got our referral extremely early, before Christmas. We signed papers on a beautiful 2 month old named Agegnehu. For my dad's Christmas present we copied Agegnehu's photo and gave it to him as a gift and told him all about his grandson in Africa. My dad was ecstatic! We are the first in our family to adopt and my dad just jumped on the Agegnehu bandwagon like no other. He was telling everyone. He kept the baby's photo in his wallet. He would tell me, "This one is Papa's Cowboy. He's tough. He's been through so much. " He would ask about the baby every visit. On the last day that my dad was alive, we had all been holding the death vigil for days. On a whim, I came home for lunch before heading out to my dad's ranch. As I checked my email, I found out that Becken had been assigned to group I (which we took to mean for Ivy) and that he would be home a lot sooner than we had thought, although not soon enough to get here before my dad left this world. Through tears I called my brother and told him that I was on my way to tell dad about the baby, but if he began to die before I got there, to please tell him that Agegnehu was coming home. I sped like a demon out to the ranch, climbed into bed with my dad and whispered that the baby was coming home, he was fine and healthy and would be home soon. That we were all ok and that my dad could let go. My dad died a half hour later. A couple months later, on my birthday, I received notice that all of Agegnehu's paperwork had been accepted through immigration. But I knew this in my heart already. It was a birthday gift from my dad. We decided to name him Becken, with the "ken" after my dad. He was supposed to be Beckari with the "kari" after me but losing dad changed that. There are times that we call him "Little Kenny" or "Papa's Cowboy". Our family had been through Hell with losing my young, life loving, tough, Daddy. He was only 54. There are 6 of us kids with the youngest just being 13 at the time. It was horrid. But the baby kept us all going. Our light at the end of the tunnel. Our little saving grace. Our baby has been home almost one year and we are so thankful for him and for his caregivers that cared for him for 5 months before us. We are donating our money from Prom, (after expenses) to their scholarship fund as a way to try to pay them back in some way for loving our son. And by the way, did I mention what Agegnehu means in Amheric? It means "I found you". Thanks, Dad, you and Bec are made from the same cloth. We miss you! We love you!

10 comments:

LaLa said...

What a great story. I know your dad is smiling on you today and watching over Ivy and Becken : )

Christine said...

Karianne, What a beautiful touching story! I didn't know your father was so young when he passed away. That is horrible. At least he got to hear the good news about Bec. That is so cute about calling Bec, "Papa's Cowboy"!

Anonymous said...

I Found You...Papa's Cowboy...wow. I am biting my lip to hold back the tears. I remember when you posted something similar to this when your dad passed. Thank you for sharing again. I'm going to be sure to send Mrs. I your way.

From the Mommy of "To Send"

Mert said...

Karianne, what a beautiful story! You dad was very handsome, he looks like a movie star in that picture. :D

Our kids have that in common, the fact that Emma and Becken never met their grandpa... but I know they are watching over them . :) Sometimes I think about that (and even though our relationship wasn't perfect with John's dad when he died) I know that dad would have gotten a kick out of Emma ( she has dad's stubborn gene, just like Anna and John, LOL!)

Thanks for sharing your story of Becken.

KrayonKel said...

I feel like I'm saying what everyone else is saying, but "WOW! What an amazing story!"

Becken is adorable. And what a terrific story you are able to share with him as he grows up!

Maggie said...

I read your story on Mert's page and headed over here to read about Becken and your dad. What a emotional post. I hope your prom goes good and I will look forward to seeing some pictures. What a wonderful idea.

Maddenclan said...

What a story! Thanks for sharing a story so close to the heart.

Karmyn R said...

Oh - what a wonderful story of life and love. I'm so sorry your father died at such a young age. His spirit is in Becken.

My husband and I have been thinking about the adoption process ourselves (we really want a 3rd child but am having trouble conceiving). I love hearing happy endings such as yours.

Katiefucious said...

What a wonderful story. Thank you for posting this, Karianne. :)

AnastasiaC said...

i just got goosebumps!!! Im sure your dad is beaming down on you and your beautiful family....