A Sleeping House

I have tried to go to bed 3 times already, but I guess that I had to write first. That's all that I could think about lying there in the dark. Not that I know what I want to write, but I'm sure I'll come up with something.

I've kept Ivy home all week with me. She is so great to hang out with. Bec loves day care and his friends there, but Ivy has always loved home, just like me. Tomorrow I really do have to work and I was so dreading having to drop her off for the morning, but my mom rescued me and is going to take her for the morning along with my niece and I'm sure a few of my nephews.

I wonder if Bec enjoys the center so much because of his personality or because of his start at the orphanage? He loves us, but is so social and has such fun playing with his buddies that it makes me happy to have him spend some of his time there. I think that it is familiar to him on a certain level. He has 2 buds, Omarion and Dontiece that come up to him and off they go. Jamara tries to kiss him and Sierra and him are like brother and sister in how they fight and wrestle. It is so cute.

Ivy and I spend our days just doing whatever. She entertains herself and loves having the space and time to play with her toys without brother trying to play too. She lets me write, clean, read, and checks in on me from time to time for a snuggle. The house is mostly quiet when we are home. The boys add the noise.

It's funny because I really had concerns about bonding when she was newborn. She has always been the type of girl that doesn't like to be touched. She would not co- sleep. We had a rough time nursing as she hated to be held. She wanted to be on her own, have her own space. I hadn't ever known an infant like her and it was so hard to learn how to let her be her. I'm so glad that I learned to step back and not push her to do things that she biologically did not want. But it was hard!! All we wanted to do was cuddle this little baby that we had prayed for so long. Being a massage therapist, I couldn't wait to do baby massage. She hates it to this day. Only recently have I been able to rub her back over her shirt.

I am basking in this closeness that we have at this point in time. And I know how fast things can change, so I'm going to soak this up as much as I can. Those little words of "Mama, I wanna hold you" is more than music to my ears.