Surprize Pregnancy Blog

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Sunday, August 01, 2010

Where to begin oh where to begin

Well ladies, it's Sunday, so WAHHHHH!

And I had such high hopes for these two days called the weekend. And life was going well. Maybe even better than well, until this afternoon.

So, my amazing aunt gives Chris and I a voucher for a stay at the Marriott on Saturday. I get one of our amazing sitters, we check in, we have dinner with Chris' sister and her boyfriend. I need to use a fat burner after eating all that I did.
We go to a fun birthday party. We get to sleep without 3 kids in our bed. We sleep in, we go to breakfast. Fun and relaxing, which doesn't describe us at all!

On the way home Chris' dad calls him to help him move mattresses. Oh, did I mention that the other sibling and his family are going to be visiting for two weeks? Sigh. Anyway, he goes to help him and stays forever. Which pisses me off because the kids are wanting their dad after us having a night away and he says that he will be right back. When he does finally get back, he tells me that he and his dad were having a heart to heart.

Later Chris tells me that the heart to heart was about me. Again. and how his parents feel rejected by me. Not welcome in our home, which is true because I don't like anyone over. Chris tells me in a nice way. And he sort of stands up for me more than he used to, but again, only sort of.

I don't ask for these people to change. I thought that I was doing better with including them in the kids' lives. I have been answering the phone when they call to talk to Chris, but I guess I'm rude since I don't ask how they are. Why the fuck do they want to change me? Chris says that they just want a better relationship. But what if I don't? What is my obligation here?

Most of the time, I feel like I'm good enough. I really like myself and who I am, how I treat people. But in every incident involving Chris, it's never good enough. I feel like I'm going to cry.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Huge hugs. That kind of thing is so complicated.