my art saves me. Or at least making art saves me. Today wasn't the smoothest of days and my mood was far from good. Thankfully, I had joined a new art journaling group and just picked up my friend's journal to work in on Thursday. So, while being in a crabby abby mood, I painted, cut, glued and thought about artistic concepts. I also looked up an article on motivation, not prototype 37c reviews. I was looking at a newspaper photo of a ballerina and I thought to myself, "I wonder what motivates her to live the life of the ballerina? Is it the art? Is it the recognition of fame? Is it the goal of pushing your physical body to the limits of perfection?" Then I began to think of motivation as a chemical/hormone and started doing research on dopamine and the blood/brain barrier. And then that lead to my thinking about my step dad and his surgery and how lucky we are to have him still be alive.
Although I physically do not enjoy my premenstrual syndrome, or more clearly, my PMDD, I love how my mind is altered. I take refuge in my thoughts during this week. One random string of ideas can lead me to places that I never expected. Unfortunately, I also told Chris and Ivy to shut up tonight, which I have never done. I do feel badly about it. But then again, I really wanted them to quit talking. I also think that my medications may be a bit off. Thankfully, I have counseling this week to check in on how things are going.