This week I gave away Ivy's dog. I poured my heart and guilt out to Katiefu to make some of this guilt go away, such the animal activist that she is. And it helped so much to get her input and expertise. I so don't feel evil anymore.
But there is still the loss and the sense of failure on my part. The fact that I was wrong about the whole dog thing in the first place. It is going to take a while to let go of this. Especially when Ivy finally notices that the dog isn't just at my sister's house.
He was such a horrid little thing. Why am I missing him?
I think that the majority of the guilt is that I don't think that I would have given him up, but with the pregnancy and new baby coming, I couldn't see a way out of it besides this. He sheds like rain. The thought of dog hair on a baby blanket totally grossed me out. So, already Ivy sacrifices for this new sibling. That makes me sad.
My friend Lexi K totally helped me out with this hurdle in my life. I didn't know where to turn. She called her vet, who knew of a woman who was looking for a companion dog. Well, her and Roosevelt hit it off and he is now riding around in style in a convertible VW in a doggy car seat. What a life. At least he is living it up now instead of barking his face off in my yard.
I have yet to decide what I will say to Ivy when she notices. I'm not looking forward to that. I'm already wishing that I could hit the wine refrigerator before that point. Do you think that she won't notice until January? :)
2 comments:
You know what kids are amazing! Ya Ivy loves Rossevelt, but he is not a nessasity. Rossevelt moves from house to house visiting and Ivy wants to see him every once and a while. This is not a bad thing, it just is. She likes him, but is not deeply connected. Having Roosevelt with another family is what is best all around, and Ivy is not sacrificing for the new one. It would be sacrifice if the minite she walk in the door yesterday, she asked "Where's Roosevelt". I know you feel bad, bt this is something good for Roosevelt, and I feel is not truly a deep attachment for Ivy. Ya she will be mad, and probably cry, but she will move on and be fine. Your whole families happiness, contentment, and peace of mind is the bigger and more inportant picture. I think that is what you are creating, and Ivy will benifit from it.
Love you, LOVE yourself!! And don't feel bad, it will be the best thing in the end.
-Alexy
Don't be too hard on yourself. Many a doggy has been displaced by a baby, and you found a great home for it. We went through this, too.
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