Valentine's Day is my absolute favorite holiday. I'm not absolutely sure why, but I think that it has to do with the voluntary participation of it. Everyone celebrates Christmas it seems, but not everyone celebrates VDay. And I'm not just talking about couples either. Remember the flower-grams in jr. high? Between friends, families or spouses, I love to celebrate the love.
No big plans for tomorrow, except for my beloved Cougs playing in rivalry week on television! And on VDay of all days! Once the NCAA championship was played on my birthday, which is my next fave holiday and on that year I won our pool on ESPN, beating out my ex husband, my brothers and my husband. What a gift of a life time. Did I tell you that the Cougs are ranked #11? That is a freaking gift in itself as we normally suck at basketball. They are my pick to take the bracket this year. You've got to go with your heart, right? I may be crying into my picks this year, but I can't believe we are this good!
Another great day today, besides the fact that I have decided to be tranquilized for the rest of the week. And it is funny, I don't use them to avoid the pain but to really feel it. The only time I have really cried about my dad is when I have been able to let down a bit with a little chemical help. Otherwise, my mind takes over and I just "take care of business" and charge on through. Regardless of how this week turns out, it is better than last year. Starting on the 12th, we were on death watch until the 16th. And it was devastating. Every day being told that he wouldn't make it another 24 hours, then being told that he was so young and strong that he was fighting so much that no one could tell how long it would be. I was scared that he would die on VDay, but he hung on until the 16th around 3. And that is another story. Thanks you guys. I miss him so much, and we weren't even that close. He was always there for me although we were both so busy.
I'm having lunch with a cherished friend tomorrow. I'm being dedicated to my pedometer, because I'm sick of being fat. And I'm trying to make it one day at a time. My sister is on a first date tonight with a CBA basketball player. I'm so excited for her to have this distraction at this time. I cannot wait for details. I'll keep you all posted.
Thanks again. I'm going to call my brother Jareod and cry.
4 comments:
Thinking of you! We are all different in how we grieve so I won't say any of those "pat answer" things like...
"it will get better with time"
or
"I know how you feel"
or
"God knows how you feel"
because you know all that stuff and that doesn't make it hurt any less.
I am so sorry you have to go through the yucky stuff of life, but hopefully you can reminisce about some happy memories as well.
:D
You're a COUG?! I don't think we can be friends. :)
And I'm sorry to read about your dad. Thinking of you.
Aww, sweets... It really stinks that it has to be this time of year. I hope you feel better, even if you do need a little help. That's ok! i am glad you have a few things to keep you distracted.
Hugs!
Check out #14 of my Thursday Thirteen. :D
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